That Clingy Thingy

I don't care if you're a supermodel. If you're clingy, you're out.

Why are we so needy and desperate? Guys don't understand, but we chicks are under a LOT of pressure. We have to look good all the time. We have to keep ourselves shaven and (hopefully) at a decent weight, we have to wear the right clothes and carry the right handbag, we have to keep our makeup fresh, and - worst of all - we have to compete with faces of perfection like Nicole Kidman and Heidi Klum. (Curse you, you horrible, beautiful creatures; curse you!!!)

Then there's Playboy, Penthouse, and other porn - come ON, guys, you really wonder why we have low self-esteem??!! No wonder gorgeous women all over American are clingy and needy. Check out this picture; hot blonde at a bar, fabulous dress, every hair in place. What you DON'T see is this: she's waiting for her boyfriend, who is 45 minutes late. She's checking her phone every five minutes and sinking deeper and deeper into obsession.

So yes, I have sympathy for clingy women. I AM one. I had one boyfriend who was such an asshole that he proposed over the phone, then stopped calling me a few weeks later. I may or may not have devolved into a quivering pile of stalker. Fortunately, it taught me a valuable lesson: if you're needy, he won't need you. I went into my next relationship with a devil-may-care attitude; I informed him up front that I was getting over an ex, and was NOT shopping for love. He took the challenge to heart; within three months, he was begging me to marry him. (!!!)

The clingy thingy never goes away totally, however. I get a little gaga if my hubby is at work and doesn't call me every few hours. But with men, a little space goes a long way. If you push them away, they'll come crawling back.