No Excuses

There's always a "good reason". Truth? That's BULL.

Men are notorious for making excuses when a relationship is failing or ending. (Yes, women do it, too. Right now we're talking about guys. Deal with it.) When he starts feeding you lines, it's time to go on alert: he's on the verge of dumping you. What are these lines, you ask? Well, let's explore the fascinating, heartbreaking world of male excuses.

What he says: "I need to find myself so I know if you're my soul mate."
What he means: "You're not my soul mate."
What YOU should say: "You can find yourself ... a new girlfriend."

What he says: "I need a break to make sure I'm right with God."
What he means: "I'm a coward who's hiding behind religion."
What YOU should say: "God told me you were a waste of time. Adios."

What he says: "I love you, but we're just not compatible."
What he means: "I think I can do better."
What YOU should say: "You thought we were plenty compatible naked in the hot tub last week. Don't call me anymore."

What he says: "I need to see other women to know for sure that I love you."
What he means: "I want to have sex with other women."
What YOU should say: "I'm going to see other guys, too. And not you."

What he says: "I would be ready to marry you in maybe five years."
What he means: "I don't want to marry you."
What YOU should say: "I have better things to do than sitting around waiting for you."

What he says: "I have too much baggage that I don't want to burden you with."
What he means: "You can't handle me."
What YOU should say: "I would have helped you carry that baggage. Now you're going to deal with it alone."

What he says: "I love you but I'm losing my identity."
What he means: "I miss going to strip clubs."
What YOU should say: "It's more like mistaken identity: I thought you were a great catch, not a waste of my time."

What he says: "I did love you; but things change."
What he means: "I never loved you."
What YOU should say: "Things do change. Like my phone number is about to."

Please note, the female responses are intended for a good chuckle when you're having a bad day. I believe break-ups should be handled with dignity and maturity. However, guys OFTEN don't leave us that option! I hate excuses. I know the difference between being strung along and being honestly pursued. When a man wants you forever, he makes NO excuses.