On the Rebound

It's usually a bad idea. But not always.

In love, there are exceptions to the rules. One of the biggest post-break-up rules is don't waste your energy on a rebound relationship and/or rebound fling. Usually, I advocate taking time to heal before embarking on a new relationship.

But that's now; several years ago, I wasn't so smart. I was freshly hurt, dumped by the man I thought was my soul mate. I felt rejected and unwanted. I signed up for a dating website; I wanted to prove to myself that I was desirable. Thus started a crazy dating spree: I was asked out constantly. I went on a date with a different guy every night. It was fun.

But I still cried myself to sleep every night. After each date I felt empty, even if the guy was really great. I never wanted to see any guy more than once. However, the "dating spree" did accomplish something: I felt pretty again. I knew that men wanted me, and that felt really good.

So after a certain point, I pulled back and became more picky about my dates. I didn't sit around waiting to get asked out by the perfect guy; I went looking for him. I used Match.com and paid for a three-month subscription (about $50). It turned out to be the best investment of my life. One day I stumbled across a truly magnificent profile; the guy (if he was everything he said he was) looked absolutely perfect for me. So I e-mailed him and waited.

He was perfect for me. He blew the first guy OUT OF THE WATER. We've been married for two years, together for three, and have a gorgeous baby boy. You could say my husband was my "rebound guy": I met him just a few months after getting dumped by the first jerk. You never forget your first love. But my husband made me forget my pain. He got me over him and into a beautiful, wonderful marriage.

Don't be too scared of a rebound relationship. You may be walking from rejection to the marriage altar.