He Paid, She Paid

Who should foot the bill?

Call me a romantic, call me old-fashioned, call me high-maintenance - just don't expect me to pay for a first date.

According to recent studies, men pick up the tab about three-quarters of the time. (This number refers to heterosexual daters.)

General dating etiquette does state that generally, whoever initiates the date should pay: if she asks him out, then she pays.

Honestly, that doesn't vibe with me. For one thing, men are hunters: although a woman can definitely let a guy know that she's interested and attracted to him, the larger percentage of men prefer to be the askers, not the askees.

If he's the asker, aka hunter, he should definitely pay for the first several dates: after all, he's pursuing, he's trying to win her. Sorry, guys, but asking a chick to foot the bill is a huge turn-off. Modern dates are often lazy and assuming: it's time to get back the knights in shining armor.

My husband was dirt-poor when we met; but he treated me to lavish dinners at pricey restaurants during our early dating days. I didn't know at the time that he was literally using his own grocery money to spoil me. And why? He knew right away that he wanted to marry me, and he was going to do whatever it took to win me over.

Once we became established boyfriend/girlfriend, I learned a bit more about him: namely, that he was going broke taking me to Red Lobster. At that point, we had an established relationship that was well on its way to commitment: so I was okay with picking up the check. He admitted it was a bit of a blow to his ego, but he accepted it and let me do my part.

So, who pays? My suggestion (what worked for me): he pays when the pursuit begins. Once the relationship is committed/exclusive, she can start helping out.